My 39th birthday was the best and most meaningful birthday of my life. THANK YOU for all of the sweet messages you sent me. As I re-read last night those birthday wishes, I reflected back to my time in chemo, and how I have wondered for a long time what my 39th birthday would be like after cancer... I knew it would be different, but I didn't know how.
And now I do. Birthdays are miracles drenched in blessings and all things LOVE. I thought I knew that before cancer, but I really didn't. I fought so hard for my life, and now, after the cancer fight, I truly understand that statement and how this birthday was different than the last 38.
A few weeks ago, Rex asked me what I wanted for my birthday,
and I said "remission".
He replied "you have that".
And I said "Yes, that's the best gift ever. The gift of life, the greatest gift of all". And then I cried tears of humble gratitude and joy.
I am cancer free!!
A few days ago, on my birthday day, I laid on the radiation table and I felt so peaceful. And grateful. And blessed. I know for sure cancer happened to me for a reason much greater than I can comprehend. It has challenged me, taught me, and changed my life forever. I hope I never forget that.
Cancer made me bald, tired, pale, fat, and sweaty. It made me feel broken to the point I didn't know who was looking back at me in the mirror. But it also made me stronger. It made me fierce. It taught me how to LOVE myself even when my physical appearance was at it's very worst, aka when nothing would fit and I looked like hell. It taught me to love harder and listen better. It taught me patience.
Cancer taught me how to be FEARLESS.
I think I will change my earlier statement to this: EVERYDAY is a miracle drenched in blessings and all things love.
I love that.
So, here are some pics of my birthday week, and our temporary life in Houston. 14 rad treatments down, 16 to go!!! The countdown to my last and final treatment day is on!!
And I've lost 25 pounds. Heck ya!!